weak asss emotion?

jealousy is everywhere. and it's no longer just a female trait. it was thought to be extremely common amongst women because it drives undesirable emotion. everyone at some point in their life has experienced some sort of ill attitude towards another-but dont even know why or envying someone who has the advantage of something you desire and do not think you can obtain. some of us experience this at a younger age, and are unhappy with the feeling of vengeance or the constant longing of someTHING or someONE you imagine is unattainable. other folks never grow out of the weak emotion of jealousy, and as for ENVY, there are a couple ways to detach yourself from someone else's blessing and/or advantages. BE SECURE mofo'

Apology to my unborn son.

I fear that you will never sleep
because like these fingers too weak to hold wings or commitment
...you will inherit my insomnia or my restless spirit
Child, i wish i could quiet all your questions
Tell you the exact numbers of stars in the sky
I wish i could tell you where the moon goes at sunrise
I want to give you a morning worth rising for
I pray that you will close your eyes & see the world
through the only thing that's fit to pass down to you
... this heart of a dreamer.. but i want you stronger
want you kind and brave
want you unafraid to fight for what you believe and need
want you free
want you nothing like your mother
this girl trembling before each new day
this girl frightened of herself
who finds the word woman to heaver to dawn most days
you deserve someone to wear the monacher like banner,
carries easy like sun and summer
But child, what can i tell you at peace when
you were probably conceived in a concoffiny of questions
Still... I think of you as possible
Can feel the breath of God's light against your skin
Can hear you softness, eyes closed, laughing real
I wish that we are not too much of shadow and brick
Voices thrown against walls, these hands are tired of building
I want you to like me, to know me
To know me now in moments like this
your mother lays awake watching yet another morning from the wrong side
...practicing this breathing that will one day usher you into this world
I still fear that you will never know sleep
but i know i will need your laughter, need the gentle curve of your fingers
need your eyes locked on mine
need you here, now.
for balance
I still think you deserve more than this thread of me.. who is your mother
still attempting her own world of colors
but child just promise me that you will be, eventually.
I need you like a night worth sleeping for.
Bassey Ikpi

no pain felt today..

"today i saw somthing new, & actually its you.
your not a stranger to my eye but one to my heart,
i hope that will change to.
today is different my eyes are clear,
& the pain isnt near.
i looked up not a cloud in sight all i saw was the sun gleaming bright.
tho to my suprise i can tell you see past my eyes,
deep down into my soul u saw something thats now not so cold.
i try to keep a content smile,
hopng all this im doing will be worthwhile.
would this love be ilicite?
if so it would make me words be explicit
i hope this feeling wont go away after all there was no pain felt today.."

laces.

when you're little, and you just learned how to tie your shoes, you never tie em tight enough so you end up trippin and fallin all over yourself. but as you grow up, you tie em in a way they won't fall apart and make you hurt yourself. the same thing can be said when you like someone. you leave your laces untied, in hopes that the person you like will be the one to knot em together so you will no longer fall the wrong way and hurt yourself. for those that don't understand the metaphor, it's basically when you open yourself to someone and hope they'll reciprocate feelings so that you won't end up with hurt feelings and disappointment -- & untied laces. I just think that at a certain point you either know this method works for you ... or it doesnt.

Fantasy is wht we want..

REALITY IS WHT WE NEED... reality is nothing more than a slap in the face. when you wake up from the perfect dream & then you say to yourself
" ... shit, i was dreaming" .
i guess ill forever sleep .
... dreaming is far greater than reality will ever be.

TRUTH.

This is simply the truth and nothing but it...

"I never thought I’d.. be in love like this

When I look at you my mind goes on a trip

And you came in.. and knocked me on my face

Feels like in I’m a racebut I already won first place

I used to be commander and chiefof my pimp ship flyin high

til i met my big strong missle

that shot me out the sky

Until I crash it

I don’t know how it happened

But I know it feels so damn good

So I gotta put the good with the bad,

happy and the sad

So I’ll bring a better future than

I had in the pastoh Cause,

I don’t wanna make the same mistakes I did

... sometimes love knocks you down... "

pssssshhhh

"Every person you meet will not hurt you, remember that, and even though right now you are broken, confused, and loveless, those sour feelings can never last forever and they won't."

-- Erin Danielle Walker

Vday! :)

^ this is my sweetheart ^
His name is Ryan, but i call him Ry-Ry because he is my Ry-Ry. duhh.
:) :) :) :) :) lovebug :) :) :) :)
I love us. He's my favorite. kk? Ok.

Well Happy Valentines Day!!

simple or so complicated that it makes it simple?

"Too Beautiful To Die, Too Wild To Live"

me, simple? nah, i have a lot to say, a lot to accomplish, a lot to prove and show -i'm a wild child .. so again, me, simple? nah, you're outta your fucking mind! i refuse to even use the word "simple" in my vocabulary -i'm a pretty hard subject to explain so i'd like to just say

fuck it

because even if you walked a kabillon years in my shoes you still wouldn't understand..
... but then again I think if one were to just listen and hear with thier eyes i think it could be so simple... simple as can be. Just open your eyes a little wider people.

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."


--Theodore Roosevelt

This type Love.

I want a love like
Me thinking of you
Thinking of me thinking of you type love
Or me telling my friends more than
I’ve ever admitted to myself
About how I feel about you type love
Or hating how jealous you are
But loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
Or see how your last name just sound so good next to my first name
And shit I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you
And I barely made it out of my garage
See, I want a love that makes me wait until he falls asleep
And wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love
Or who loves the other more
Or what he’s doing this exact moment
Or slow dancing to the music of our hearts
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good
Could hurt so much when he’s not there
And shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love
And check this, I want to place those little post-it notes
All around the how he never forgets how much I love him type love
And not have enough ink in my pen to write all there is to love about him type
And hope I make him feel as good as he makes me feel
And I want to deal with my friends making fun of me
The way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love
Only difference is, this is one of those real love type loves
And I just want to fall asleep and then wake up with him right next to me
And smell him all up in my covers type love
I want to try counting the ways I love him
And lose count in the middle just so I have to start all over again
And check this, I want to fall in love with the melody the phone plays
When none of us dialed into it type love
And talk to you until I lose my breathe
he leaves me breathless
But with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of him back into me
And I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are
I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time
To love you as long as I’d like to type love
And I want a love that makes me st-st-st-st-stutter
Just thinking about how strong this love is type love
And check this, I kind of feel comfortable now
So I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light
Just dying to get hit by a car
Just so I could lose my memory
Get transported to some third world country just to get treated
Then somehow meet up again with you so I can fall in love with you
In a different language and see if it still feels the same type love
I want a love that’s as unexplainable as he is type love

A Penny for your thoughts.

Can I have a penny
for your thoughts?
As a matter of fact how about three
One penny for you
One penny for me
And one penny for our minds engaged
Not so sexually
Getting intimately closer
As we approach the climactic altitude
Of nude mental sensational conversationcuz
I’m trying to get to know everything about youfrom the neck UP
So these are not your typical sexual poetical prose
I’m trying to close the door of an all too familiar freaky foreplay game
With which most people have chosen to approach you
While they’re trying to get deeply embedded in the fine fibers of your bed sheets
I’m trying to find and define the fibers with which your mind speaks
I want to engage you by putting a two carat solitaire diamond on
your mindand marrying your every thought
I want to lick every inch of every crevice so I can get an oral fix from each orifice and taste your passionate imagination
I’d rather be naked and exposed holding you as we’re lying
And your crying while confiding and describing the tough times you had in life
And how you don’t know if you can keep a relationship
Long enough to be somebody’s husband
I want to feel the heartbeat of all your inner rhythms as they lead me towards your warm wet waterfalls of feminine thoughts
And I’ll swim within ‘em from back strokes to breast strokes
I’m penetrating every entrance to your mind
Taking my time to find out everything about you
Did I ever tell you about how you fell asleep in my presence?
And your mere essence kept me up for hours
As I coward with this feel of a sexually unadulterated mental connection
And as you laid by my side I pushed my blinds aside
And took the time in the moonlight of that night
To county seventy-two eyelashes on the upper eyelid of your right eye
Because as you sleep
As you sleep they remain open slightly
And while we probably move too quickly into some sexual stuff
I’ve always cared more about the explicitly illicitness that came from between your lips meaning your voice so now
I’m standing here ready to trade in all the sexual acts that we perform for the chance to reform the very foundation and basis of our relationship and
I reiterate my opening statement
And I offer you another penny for your thoughts

Hmmmm...

I think we as people should live by this quote right here -

"Find remedies, not fault"

Im beginning to firmly believe in this. I am not a perfect being and by no means do I try to be but if people were to try to fix a problem before blaming on someone, they could actually bypass a bunch of unwanted issues.

desire.

As the sun rises in the
So the breaking dawn of my love begins
As the sun sets in the West
I am overwhelmed with a burning desire
A desire locked down deep inside
One that cannot be concealed anymore
I long for one sweet kiss to quench my thirst
I long for one tender touch that will last a lifetime
At the end of it all you are my deepest desire...

My new shhhhhiiiizzzz lol

They didn't agree on much, in fact, they rarely agreed on anything, they fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday, but despite their differences they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other
-The Notebook

Today was so blah.

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before and she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect - you aren't either,
and the two of you may never be perfect
together but if she can make you laugh,
cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break
- her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her,
don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she's not there."
-Bob Marley

A different me?

Lately ... Ive been learninig that I have to soften up a bit. I mean the way Ive been, the way I am doesnt work if you want to care. Yeah, Ive been called "cold", "heartless", "nonchalant", "hard". Im just not invited to the idea of letting people in anymore --- but see thats the dead end. That shit isnt gona work. idk wht the fck im tryna say, the point is im trying to change. This me right here, is a softer me then sayyyyy.... a couple months ago. Ahhh & dont think im gettin too soft. Nahhhhw neva that. But im pledging not to be "cold" anymore.

... maybe the icebox is warmin up?

this is why..

people get hurt because people allow people to hurt them. because if you look at it... if you choose not to have somethin effect you than it wont.. right? i think right. i swear that gotta be it because you know how youre about to cry about somethin but you think about it and shit? idk how to explain it but you feel me if you didn't care than it wouldn't matter.. but maybe thats the problem.. the fact that i care. the only reason im hurt is because i care.. &what kind of world would it be if you didn't care right? so wow.. there's really no solution to this whole thing. and i hate when people get mad at you and dont even ask you about it. and i hate when i dont know... i mean they have the right to be mad and everything but foril but could you fuckin ask me about it? GOOOOODNESSS! that really irritates me thee most. when it could have all been avoided and wasn't even worth the fight you know? idk... ima seee where it goesss.

♥breeezy

Where I'd like to be.

Random Thought//.

If shit doesn't go your way and the outcome wasn't what you had expected, dont cry, get yourself together and better luck next time... Whats meant to be will be, trust me on this one. Life's too short to get down over stooopid ish.

... Words

I am human. I cry when I'm sad, laugh when I think something is funny, and get angry when I am mad. I'm maybe a little more emotional than others, but I feel just like everyone else, I bleed just like everyone else, and I scar just like everyone else.
It hurts me to see others in pain, especially when I can't do anything about it. I am just naturally a caring person, but when I am in pain or I'm hurt and there's no one around to care for me, I just write. Poems.
There will be days in my life when I will do nothing but write.
All I need in this life of sin, is me, my paper, and pen!
I share secrets with them no one else know. I spread my thoughts across an endless white to blame the unblamed, because sometimes, talking it out is impossible and trying to forget will only make me feel worse.
People ask me all the time, "How are you always smiling, i know youre not always happy?"
I reply with a smile, I wear my smile well. I don't direct my negative feelings towards the innocent, but since the guilty remains irresponsible and deaf, I just write.
Fuck tears, write it down, and let it go!
Ive learned recently to Never let someone upset you so much that they take you out of character, that will only heighten the issue. Take it from someone who deals with difficult people everyday.
No matter what they say, I will always be Brianna. I always have me. In the end, that is all you have.
Stay true to yourself and fuck what everyone else thinks!

I love having peefect days... when i smile my self to sleep :)

Here's a poem I wrote a month ago. This poem isn't directed towards anyone in particular. A few people influenced this.



There is an anger that burns beneath the surface of this love.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
We toss around this word to justify our unhappiness,
because "sometimes" we are happy.
Many say love is all you need,
but underneath these bandages I don't bleed love, I just bleed.
Hurt and scarred for life, Icover it all up with a smile
I am lonely again. I love you, will you stay awhile?
Until I run out of lies and there isn't a drop of love left.
How will I love you when I find myself trapped, loveless?

I think I have an obsession.

Hello World :)

Im Backkk.
This is my new blog, forget the other one.
This is a New Year sweetiesss.
Same Ole Bree, but Im doing things different, much different.